Relationship Handbook Excerpt #1

𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐭:

Anyone that takes your silence and reserve as more than the time you are taking to take care of you, doesn't deserve your company or explanation. People that can easily assume the worst of you are not really for you. No one that truly cares about you will continually question your every move if you haven't given them a real reason to. So many think I am up to no good because I don't keep in contact with them the way they want me to. Little do they know I don't really keep in contact with anyone regularly. Not even my closest family and friends and they still love me because they know that that's just who I am. So, I won't even say that I don't have friends, because I do and don't want to disregard anyone, but I don't have anyone that I talk to regularly, kick it with regularly, or like their posts regularly... because nowadays you aren't real friends unless we like every single one of your posts...🙄. I am a well-preserved flower and love being alone (solidarity not loneliness). My business presence and ability to hold a meaningful conversation easily makes people think that I am this super active social butterfly, but I am quite the opposite. I am just really good at turning my thoughts into fluid conversation. I don't answer my phone (hate that I have one), I don't hang out, kick it, or do public outings regularly. People make me nervous, their unwarranted opinions drive me crazy, and I can't stand small talk. I can do without all of that. I know networking is the key to growth but I literally have to make myself do it and I am realistic about what I can take on so I don't do a lot of networking when I am extremely busy and unable to activate immediate growth outside of my business plan...like now.

I rarely do events and I rarely even leave the house or put on real clothes. I have more sweats, pajamas, and t-shirts than casual clothes or better. I am the queen of comfort and the definition of a homebody. So are my husband and kids. They never want to go anywhere either. We go on vacation and spend the first few days just lounging around the condos that we rent. Nice being in a new environment every now and then. We are so happy are and so thankful for the blessing of being able to obtain such a large house so I can be comfortable in my own space. I moved over an hour outside of the city to the country just to get away from everyone and the hustle and bustle of the city. We get invited to so many things and get labeled horribly because we never want to go anywhere. I am usually too tired, too busy, or literally just don't want to.

I converted my business into a wholesale boutique to keep from having to do events, pop-up shops, and meeting with many clients all the time. I made a life that works for me. I found a way to allow my introverted personality to thrive and people have done so much assuming and lying on my character because of this and it is sickening. This passage isn't to make their thoughts relevant but to tell you to DO YOU. People will find a way to dim your light regardless of what you do, so do you. I don't let them get to me and neither should you. I just laugh those people off and keep it moving. I stay prayed up so my coverage and peace will never run out. Nothing that they say about me ever sticks because it is untrue. Stop letting people guilt you for doing what is best for you and for living the life you want to live. So what, you don't respond to their messages as soon as they would like. So what, you didn't show up to their event or birthday party. So what, you don't feel like talking on the phone with them every time they call. So what, you don't interact with them on social media often enough. If it's not your thing, it's not your thing. You are not obligated to be just like them. Don't force yourself to be like them. It will end in disaster when you get tired of putting on the act of trying to be like them. Then when you go back to being the real you, you will be labeled as phony and they will leave you anyway. Allow them to continue to think what they want. Let them talk bad about you if they want, and let them live their own lives the same way that you want them to let you live yours. Their opinions of you are none of your concern. Keep grinding, thriving, and minding your black-owned business. Unless they are paying your bills and funding your accounts, you don't need their approval and even then... your life is your business, not theirs. Don't conform to their standards if it is not how you chose to live.

I don't live for anyone other than me and mine. If people don't like how I operate, they can leave, which they usually do...and guess what? I let them. Life throws enough curve balls that can leave us stressed and distracted. Stop letting other humans add to that. The ones that want to be a positive force in your life will be and nothing will have to be forced. I am pushing positivity, prosperity, and calm into your life. I hope you accept it and take heed to my words. Do you boo and log off if you have to. I do it often. #BossUP

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